So we are a year into this ‘trying for a baby’ journey and I find myself needing a space to document what we are going through and have an outlet for my emotions.

Many times my incessant googling has lead me to fertility blogs of others, which has helped me to feel less alone. So, if this helps just one person out there, then cheers to that.

We have been blessed in our life together so far. We found each other young, set up home and had a wonderful wedding with expectations of a family following close behind. Our wedding day was filled with the usual ‘it won’t be long before there’s a baby Wilson running around‘ comments and at the time I smiled foolishly truly believing there would be.

Now, we have been married for 20 months and we are still not pregnant. We have technically only been ‘trying’ for a year but what a year it has been.

I have had a countless number of blood tests, ultrasounds, nights in A&E, laparoscopy surgery and now I find myself with diagnosed PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) and Endometriosis. Both conditions affect fertility quite significantly. Shit. This is not how it was supposed to be. And I am having a hard time adjusting to that.

Couple that with the fact my husband has just had his sperm analysis results back and he is ‘borderline’. It is safe to say emotionally we feel like we are being beaten with a stick.

We live in the UK and the rules for fertility funding on the NHS state that you need to be ‘trying’ for two years before you can be referred for help. So, we are now under the care of a private fertility doctor who has prescribed me Clomid to try and induce ovulation. He told me in no uncertain terms that my chance of falling pregnant without drugs was 0%. Naturally my androgen level  is so high my lady hormones don’t stand a chance on their own.